Sept. 20 (Bloomberg) -- The run-up to the highly hyped debut of ``Kid Nation'' included denying previews to critics, leading to speculation that CBS feared preemptive panning.
If so, the fear was well-founded. A pan won't do for this turkey. This is gong material.
The new ``reality'' series features 40 kids ages 8-15 who are supposed to remake an old New Mexico town -- named Bonanza -- that reportedly failed under adult rule.
Viewers are apparently to be impressed by the tykes' resilience, sense of community and pioneer spirit, all blossoming free of adult supervision.
Yet one quickly senses that this is a big puppet show, with the strings being pulled by guidance counselors, social workers, homeroom teachers and other destroyers of youthful exuberance.
This is Eunuch Nation.
The idea that this is an adult-free zone never really gets off the ground. Besides Jonathan Karsh, a camp-counselor type who steers the youngsters in the ways of group-think, there are many other representatives of adult land.
Indeed, in response to charges that the kids weren't properly supervised, CBS noted, ``What was extraordinary about `Kid Nation' was the behind-the-scenes support structure, which included on-site paramedics, a pediatrician, an animal-safety expert and a child psychologist, not to mention a roster of producers assigned to monitor the kids' behavior.''
They seem to have been regulated right down to the last semicolon, speaking in well-crafted, complete sentences -- as if they were reading scripts!
Apple Polishers
``I'm trying to be a leader here!'' exhorted one, while another chirped, ``We can learn from him!''
``No yelling!'' shouted yet another, in tones reminiscent of an elementary-school apple polisher. These are sentiments to quicken the hearts of den mothers and their fellow travelers: Work together! No bullying! Show mutual respect!
There is a bit of cooked-up drama. ``Don't get in my face,'' one kid warned, while another complained that a tough guy ``was trying to break me down hard.'' Sweat not, young man. At the first sign of a clenched fist an adult will fly from the hayloft and issue a timeout.
The kids in the series know they won't starve or perish in a drought, and if they get sick they'll be helicoptered to a hospital. Failure has no consequences, though there is a very real reward for exemplary behavior: A star made of real gold and worth $20,000 is bestowed on one kid per episode.
How real can you get?
In this episode, the kid who gets the star calls Mom with the good news. As if by magic, a camera is on hand to capture her spontaneous celebration.
Dark Fantasies
Some adult viewers may harbor dark fantasies that a bear or mountain lion will trot into Bonanza and scarf down one of the little dears, or perhaps that a band of gypsies will happen by and take a few into slavery.
Yet we shouldn't blame the kids, who do get in one enjoyable swipe at their puppeteers. When offered a choice between a TV set and seven new outhouses, they choose the loos.
A real show about unsupervised kids would strand them in the desert and view the proceedings from afar, in the manner of nature photographers filming penguins. One reasonably imagines the strong would soon be ruling the weak while enterprising types would set up stills, create a market for rabbit tobacco and perhaps scour the desert for peyote. For entertainment we'd find a few stoning prairie dogs and perhaps tipping the odd cow.
Something like ``Lord of the Flies.''
This is ``Gilligan's Island.'' In the real world, and perhaps ours, the buzzards should be circling.
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If so, the fear was well-founded. A pan won't do for this turkey. This is gong material.
The new ``reality'' series features 40 kids ages 8-15 who are supposed to remake an old New Mexico town -- named Bonanza -- that reportedly failed under adult rule.
Viewers are apparently to be impressed by the tykes' resilience, sense of community and pioneer spirit, all blossoming free of adult supervision.
Yet one quickly senses that this is a big puppet show, with the strings being pulled by guidance counselors, social workers, homeroom teachers and other destroyers of youthful exuberance.
This is Eunuch Nation.
The idea that this is an adult-free zone never really gets off the ground. Besides Jonathan Karsh, a camp-counselor type who steers the youngsters in the ways of group-think, there are many other representatives of adult land.
Indeed, in response to charges that the kids weren't properly supervised, CBS noted, ``What was extraordinary about `Kid Nation' was the behind-the-scenes support structure, which included on-site paramedics, a pediatrician, an animal-safety expert and a child psychologist, not to mention a roster of producers assigned to monitor the kids' behavior.''
They seem to have been regulated right down to the last semicolon, speaking in well-crafted, complete sentences -- as if they were reading scripts!
Apple Polishers
``I'm trying to be a leader here!'' exhorted one, while another chirped, ``We can learn from him!''
``No yelling!'' shouted yet another, in tones reminiscent of an elementary-school apple polisher. These are sentiments to quicken the hearts of den mothers and their fellow travelers: Work together! No bullying! Show mutual respect!
There is a bit of cooked-up drama. ``Don't get in my face,'' one kid warned, while another complained that a tough guy ``was trying to break me down hard.'' Sweat not, young man. At the first sign of a clenched fist an adult will fly from the hayloft and issue a timeout.
The kids in the series know they won't starve or perish in a drought, and if they get sick they'll be helicoptered to a hospital. Failure has no consequences, though there is a very real reward for exemplary behavior: A star made of real gold and worth $20,000 is bestowed on one kid per episode.
How real can you get?
In this episode, the kid who gets the star calls Mom with the good news. As if by magic, a camera is on hand to capture her spontaneous celebration.
Dark Fantasies
Some adult viewers may harbor dark fantasies that a bear or mountain lion will trot into Bonanza and scarf down one of the little dears, or perhaps that a band of gypsies will happen by and take a few into slavery.
Yet we shouldn't blame the kids, who do get in one enjoyable swipe at their puppeteers. When offered a choice between a TV set and seven new outhouses, they choose the loos.
A real show about unsupervised kids would strand them in the desert and view the proceedings from afar, in the manner of nature photographers filming penguins. One reasonably imagines the strong would soon be ruling the weak while enterprising types would set up stills, create a market for rabbit tobacco and perhaps scour the desert for peyote. For entertainment we'd find a few stoning prairie dogs and perhaps tipping the odd cow.
Something like ``Lord of the Flies.''
This is ``Gilligan's Island.'' In the real world, and perhaps ours, the buzzards should be circling.
Discuss Add this link to... Bury
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